He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
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