M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
How's work?
Spinning.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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