your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
