im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
You should frame my arrest warrant.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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