....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
These People Are The Epitome of Lazy
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Disturbing Scenes People Witnessed As Children
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright