ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse