awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
I don't think brook has ever known best
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
These 31 People Are Lazier Than You Could Ever Imagine
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
27 Drunk People That Pissed Off The Cops And Got What They Deserved
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM