i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Randomize
