So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
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