You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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