I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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