I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
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