there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
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