He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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