Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
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