dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Why is your signature on my underwear?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
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