new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
He kissed a someone with a penis
I forgot how hot balto sounded
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Randomize
