I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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