you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
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