Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize