last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize
