Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Randomize
