last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize