A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
