eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
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He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
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I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
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