Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
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