Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
