I can tuck mytits in my pants
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
She needs sedatives and a leash
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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