i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
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soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
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They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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