this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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