What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
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