i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
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