If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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