I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
25 Shocking High School Scandals You Won’t Believe Are True
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.