He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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