sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
