im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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