Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
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