this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
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