Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
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There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
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They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
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