ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
she told me i tasted like america
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
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