hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
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Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
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