Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
