what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize
