I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME