I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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