The brown eye won't let me do that either.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
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its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
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Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
is that a dick in a sweater?
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