...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
He called his prostate his "boner button".
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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