My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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