never play flip cup with pint glasses
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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