Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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