Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
20 People Who Caught Their Significant Others Cheating and Hand Over Some Major Karma
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
33 Memes You’ll Find Uncomfortably Relatable If You’ve Ever Been Through A Messy Breakup
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??