Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR