have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.