Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
These 21 Drunks Said The Darndest Things
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.