i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
We don't watch enough power rangers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
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