So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Randomize
